Sorry for you loss

One of our acquaintances Mum passed away a few days ago and I don’t know what to say, really I don’t I hate saying sorry for your loss, my condolences and such I feel it is not enough and you get sick of hearing it and then the not knowing what or how to reply as thankyou doesn’t feel right.
I write this as my personal experience my Dad died just after I turned 14 and my Mum died before I turned 17.
This year marks the tenth year of not having a Mum (alive) and next year I will f lived more than half my life not having a Dad alive.
I have freaked out a few people and work colleagues in that I can say that my parents are dead so matter of factly like I would ask them to pass me a paper bag or something. However I am so used to not having my parents around that it just is for me. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss them because I do, it’s just that I am used to them not being here.
Maybe it’s because I bottle emotions and feeling up I really don’t know.
When I was falling for Drake I wondered what my Mum and Dad would think of him, if Mum would like his sexy accent or not, Would he and Dad go sit in a corner and discuss electronics and mobile phones?
For me it was easier to picture what Mum would be like; She would make him a cup of coffee and talk with him, She would say something to make him squirm and to welcome him to the family but she would joke with him and make him laugh.
Dad on the other hand I have no idea. Dad died in 2001, he had only just got a mobile phone at the age of sixty five and thought it and he were the bees knees for knowing how to use it and for having one. It was a CDMA phone and whilst today it would be classed as a brick and other such words back then it was a new model and a great phone.
So I can see Drake and Dad discussing technology and how things have changed, not in a back in my day kind of way in a how does this work, how can I repair it, wow technology is moving along fast – would this be a good phone for me/us?
Added to that I only have childlike memories of my Dad so can’t really imagine him as an adult and having an adult conversation with him, same as with my Mum.

My Aunty who took custody of me after Mum passed away as per Mum and Dad’s will is the one who vetted and met Drake, she is the one who did the welcome to the family embarrassment prank.
Would Mum or Dad of done it differently?

Mum and Dad missed out on so much and I have missed out on sharing so much with them.
passing VCE, moving countries, boyfriends and friend. My sisters marrage (okay admittly I didn’t attent but I had a choice and that is another story), the birth of my sisters children and any children I may have.
I can’t stir Dad about my older brother looking like him.

I can’t ask Mum questions that I would like to know about her and her growing up.
Dad’s life remains a mystry of his tall stories and the truth.

Even then it’s not just the big things, it’s the little things that I miss Mum and Dad.
I could be out shopping and see something or do something and want to call Mum up and tell her.
It’s sitting on a bus and the old man in front has diamond like wrinkles on the back of his neck just like Dad and I almost cry because I miss Dad.

It’s hearing a song on the radio and it remind me of them. Watching a TV show and knowing they liked it.
Before Dad died there were ads on the TV for a new tv show coming out that he wanted to see, he never did live to see it.

It’s going through old photo albums and not knowing who people are, or seeing old photos and not knowing the story of the moment.

So I am sorry for your loss, time doen’t heal all. It does however make things easier.
Remeber the bad as well as the good. don’t put them on a pedestal as they have higher to fall.
If you want to talk or have a coffee I am here. You can tell me about that thing that always bugged you and you now miss.
Or how you wish you had of got that recipe or story one last time.

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Aside

the double standards of pubic hair!

I haven’t had a wax since december last year and apart from trying the Gillette bikini trimmer sometime between Novemeber and January I have been all bushy and furry down below. The only few times this has really been an issue is after going to the toilet and wiping myself and getting toilet paper curled up in fuzz or when having a period and having a blood clot getting stuck in the fuzz.
When I go swimming I have bathers and a pair of shorts or boardies on to stop chaffing so the bikini line issue is not an issue for me.

So since moving over here to be with Drake I’ve only received oral once! once! and I am a fan of it. The man I must say has a talent for it and to which ever ex taught him I owe you my thanks ;P  So the other  night getting in to some heavy petting and boobs were getting some action so I though hello can maybe 69 or something… yeah that wasn’t happening cause I need to shave or wax down below!
umm excuse me boyfriend of mine I give you head on a regular bases, I enjoy sucking your dick But don’t enjoy getting YOUR pubic hair in my mouth or feel like I am gagging on a pube. But how dare I have pubic hair and want oral.
So if and when I do get a wax I am expecting so much oral from you that I won’t be able to walk straight for a month! that you will need a straw to be able to drink a vitiamized meal as your mouth and tongue will be so sore from  eating me out!

Now I realise that we had made a deal that I would keep the bush at bay and you would keep the beard at bay, and I have not been living up to my end of the bargain. However I counter with the fact that shaving regrowth is a itchy nightmare to deal with and makes me look like I have crabs with my hand down my crotch scratching. The waxing the I prefer and don’t have any issue with getting in relation to pain has had the issue of affordability. My not having the hours that I need and the industry I work in being minimum wage mean that there are a few things that are treats for myself. The extra I have spent has gone towards getting shelves for our room and for the lounge.
Now don’t get me wrong I actually in the few times I have been waxed enjoyed it, even the one time where I had bite marks on my hand cause it hurt was still enjoyable. I love the result I love that when I have a period I don’t get bloodclots stuck to hairs, I enjoy the smoothness of my mound.  Also the thing I love about after getting waxed is the oral sex you give me.
However I am thinking if for me to get oral I have to wax maybe it’s time you should wax to get oral as well, I mean it’s only fair as you don’t like getting pubes stuck in your mouth and I don’t either.
What you don’t want to because it hurts? Well then the easy fix is to deal with the fact that sometimes I can’t afford a wax so will have a hair bush and I would like to be eaten out just like you who has a hairy patch would love to be sucked off.

love Alyce 10:58pm 1st July 2014