Threats from Evan

My best friend Nicola has got a new boyfriend, they met on facebook. I’m not one to judge that I met Drake on facebook as well.
Nicola and I have been best friends since prep, our first day of school.

Both our families had recently moved to Barkly and neither of us had attended the local kindergarten that funneled the children to that particular primary school (if you attend kinder A you will 90% go to Primary School A, you attend kinder B you will most likely attend school B)

We’ve been through her high shcool boyfriends who were dicks, my highschool boyfriend who she rescued me at 2am from his room before we’d got to the having sex part.

So she broke up with her boyfriend and eldest childs Dad mid way through this year.
She was taking a break from men but wanted sex.

She met a few guys on a dating app and on a facebook singles/swingers group.

Nicola then starts to hook up with a bloke and he seemed a bit odd but his 6 years younger than us and well us girls in our early twenties were odd and quirky.

Then Evan the new boyfriend started to comment and attack any guy who would comment on any of Nicola’s facebook statuses.  Some of these guys commenting were creepers and creeps she had added from the dating site and group, But as they were only fuck buddies and these were the creepers wanting to know what she was wearing and that typa thing I could see where he was coming from.

Then Evan asked her out and they have lots of cutesey coupley photos, in the first month of their dating Nicola found just over a two hundred snapchat photos of naked woman in just that month they had been dating.
For me that was a bit odd, she skyped and had a cry to Drake and I on Skype.
He then introduced her to his Mum as just a friend.

Again I thought that was odd but his from a different culture and I thought odd but if you have an overprotective parent I can understand that.

Most nights or at least twice a week Nicola and I would skype and Drake would be a part of the skpying cause I wouldn’t have a headset on.

Drake and Nicola are also facebook friends and he comments on her statues every so often.
God I think Drake sometimes talks to my friends more than I do sometimes.

So last week on monday after flying back home and getting a bus to Geringhap we were out shopping with my Aunt (me at the lingerie shop, and at Target – how I have missed those stores) and then went to Safeway and Drake said that Evan had messaged him and called him a cunt.
Just out of the blue, got a message, first ever message from Evan as well.
Drake then showed me the messages, Evan had threatened to bash him because he was in Geringhap  and he would get his cousins and they would kick Drakes head in. Drakes turned around and said hey why don’t we get a drink and have a talk.
Then messaged Nicola and said hey I just got these messages from Evan.

My aunt and I are just what the fucking and Aunt said ‘I hope Nicola’s saying something to him cause I see you girls posting how your like sisters and your besties all the time’
I sent a message and asked whats up with Evan. She replied she wasn’t sure and he wasn’t really answering her.

I had to go to court and was spending time with family and only had the monday – friday to see everyone and didn’t get to seeing Nicola due to time restraints, however I did call and message her.

Monday I was at work waiting at the bank as it was my day to do the banking and was flicking through facebook and seen Nicola had posted about hating mornings, went to comment seen Drake had already and then added my two cents worth in as well.

About lunchtime there was a comment on the status from Evan asking ‘why is that prick commenting on you statues still?’
So I asked if Evan if it was about Drake commenting on Nicola’s facebook… providing that only Drake and I had commented it was pretty obvious.
I just told Evan that Drake will be Nicola’s brother in law and that his comment was uncalled for.
he then posts ‘ha hahahahaha no worries!’
I was pissed and replied that it wasn’t funny and that he owed Nicola and Drake and apology for assuming that something was going on and for his abuse.
he then asked what an apology was.
Me steaming posted you called Drake a cunt, threaten to assault him, which is abuse. You also assume something is going on between Drake and Nicola. oh and would you like me to post a definition of what an apology is.

At this time Drake comments a half hour later and is writing the calming stuff of Nicola is stressed atm lets take it easy.

I was on the last hour of my 10 hour shift when I get a message from Evan asking why I had complained to Nicola about him.

So here is the transcript:

Evan: Why did you complAining about me to nicola???

Alyce: Because you are abusing my boyfriend and your jealousy is an issue.

Evan: Your boyfriend can talk for himself!! Nothing to do with you

Ha hahahah

Am I jelly of what??

Alyce: Ever guy that comments on her page.
He is my partner I love and care about and for him.
You are abusing him.
I take umbrige with that.
Your opening message to him calling him a cunt was uncalled for.
Personally you may make Nicola happy. I think you are a dickhead and she could do better.
I won’t be blocking you, however I request you not contact me in future.
Regards Alyce

I haven’t heard from Nicola since early Monday.
I also may of overstepped my boundaries in saying what I said. However I feel it needed to be said.
If I had of been a guy Evan would of threatened to beat me and up with his cousins.

I have faced bigger bullies than him and came out on top and if he wants to get in to a pissing contest of who’s cousins are worse, mine have been to jail and poured boiling hot water down a guys throat in a fight. So yeah bring it, but unlike you I won’t hide behind my cousins or family, I will front up and I will stand my ground and what and who I believe in.

I may lose my best friend, However my greatest fears were to lose my Mum, my Dad and my Sister, I’ve lost them. My Aunt and Drake who I am afraid to lose have my back.
and I can replace a friend as callous as that sounds.

I’ve faced the guy who assaulted me last year in court and had his lawyer victim blame me and make me doubt myself and feel like I was two feet tall.

Evan buddy you got nothing and you don’t scare me.

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Gheringhap

TW: Assault, sexual assault, panic attacks, anxiety

I’m to go back to Gheringhap next month I will see my family see my fur babies and see some of my friends, but probably most importantly I will be going to Court.
Just over a year ago I was assaulted by a guy on my way to work.
I had a guy place his hands down my top and bra then fondle my boob. I didn’t go straight to the police, I didn’t go to his employer.  I caught the train the next day to work, an earlier train to avoid seeing him; that didn’t work so well as he was on that train. I had a panic attack, I could not breath, I called my aunt in a panic and knew I had to go to work, I couldn’t catch a bus home and wait for the next train as the next bus was due in an hour and went in to the city and not in to the suburbs where I lived, I couldn’t walk home as that took nearly an hour and I needed to get to work.
I went in to a different carriage than I normally do, I found a seat near people but where I was alone as advised by my aunt. I didn’t want to sit next to someone.
He came along on his rounds with a ticket inspector. He poked me with his walky talky to say ‘Hi’ I was on the phone to my aunt making up a conversation about did she want me to get her some Nespresso today whilst I was in the city, she was on the other end telling me to breath he will be gone soon, and that I am surrounded by people he can’t do anything to you.
I hyperventilate most of the trip to the city, I tried to to cry but had tears streaming down my face. No other passenger paid attention to me and I was kind of glad for that.
Later that day my cousin rang and told me he was taking me to see the police, or else he would smash the guys head in. I know my cousin that was not an idle threat either.

The third day before work, before getting the train, my cousin picked me up from home and we went to the police station to make a report.
My cousin looks like the sort of bloke you make a report against, not the one who sits with you in a room for support.
He listened as I told the officer what had happened, and watched as I cried, I tried not to look at him as I could see he was getting angry and I think regretting the choice and just wanted to bash the guys head in.

 

It was the fifth day that I was finally sat down for a full interview with a detective. I had to go through all the details, I drew diagrams of places and listed who I had first told.
I didn’t tell him that that day was meant to be a really happy and amazing day I was being featured on a page I love and follow, I had been looking forward to that day for a fortnight, and the guy had ruined that day for me.
I can’t look at that feature anymore without thinking what happened the day it was released.

For the next month I carried on going to work, attempting to avoid the guy, my friends letting me know what shifts he was on.
However I had changed, I was no longer myself, I was a huggy type of person before – now I couldn’t stand to be touched. I was more quiet and more introverted than before. I still made conversations and talked but it felt like a struggle.

I wasn’t coping though I held it together and I went to counseling after my Team Leader got me someone to talk to as it was effecting my work.

 

I worked on a call center my job was answering the phone and questions and customer support.
It had happened on my way to work.
The next thing I knew I was having panic attacks not just coming to work but at work, going on to the phones, taking calls.
I panicked and I stressed I couldn’t hold it together.

My family and my team leader tried to help, I was given time off work, I was now at the stage I would go to work in the  morning over an hours trip away and be at work for just on two hours and be sent home.
I tried to last until each break, have the break and get back on the phones.
My hours got lowered and I was still struggling.

I still could not hug, I was still introverted more than normal. I was a different person, I was quite and I was not me.

It was now December and I was due to have annual leave soon, Drake would be coming to see me, I had been counting down for months!
I was scared I wouldn’t be able to hug or hold him. I was scared I couldn’t be intimate with him.
I was sleeping with my teddy bear besides me each night, I was waking up during the night spewing my guts up, going back to bed and getting up in the morning struggling to go to work, struggling to hold it together and take calls.
The Monday my team leader gave me the if you hand in your resignation you will get an extra weeks pay.
The Wednesday I had my resignation letter typed up, I was going to leave next month in January, a week back from annual leave and then go.
My team leader said why not leave today, that way you don’t have to stress whilst your on holidays or over Christmas, when I handed her my resignation letter on the Friday.
I called my Aunt and I called Drake.
I said I was quitting that day.
I quit due to health reasons.
It was the first job I had quit where I wasn’t going because the contract I was on had been lost.
I felt lost and afraid, I packed my desk up during the day and got through the day. My team got me a bunch of flowers. No hugs goodbye were given.

I was unemployed now, the only income I had was what was in my meager savings account and was actually meant to help me move and to last when I lived with Drake and was job hunting in a new country.

Drake I am had a great holiday and he stayed an extra week. I knew this kept him from his family and I felt bad about that but at the same time I enjoyed having him with me.

I moved in February to Drake’s country.
I went job hunting, I got an interview for a retail assistant and for working in a call center.
I went for the retail  job as I wanted to try something different and the manager had also offered me a job, I just had to be interviewed by head office, and also I was scared of call centers. After the assault and the following panic attacks I was scared.

The interview for the call center job came, I was in the little interview room, I seen the handset/phone it was the same model I had worked with at my last job.
My chest tightened, I struggled to breath, I tried not to panic, I swallowed back the urge to spew.
I got through the interview – somehow.

I got home and had a list of the pros and cons for both jobs.
The call center job paid better, I had worked in call centers for nearly 10 years, I knew what I was doing.
I would be on a lower pay rate at the retail job, but there would be no panic attacks, no looking at the phone and no urges to spew everywhere.

 

I somehow managed to pass both interviews and get offered both jobs.

 

Health wise and panic attacks I took the lower paying job. I make $8 less an hour that’s minimum $280 a week I am missing out on.
That’s saving for a house, that is saving for a holiday, that is being able to afford new clothes and shoes. It’s being able to get health insurance, new glasses and going to the dentist.

That guy took my profession away from me.
I may not be able to give a victim statement next month, so this is basically it.
He took away my confidence, my trust, my ability to hug and to be comforted, my profession and livelihood.
He took away my ability to get a train without having a fear of being attacked, that finds me not able to relax properly on a train, to feel trapped.

Alyce 22nd October 2014 2:19pm