Friendship & Respect

So here’s what happened with Nicola and  Evan.
I called Nicola and asked if we could Skype, I was in tears after yet again being attacked by Evan and was just over it all.
Nicola said she would be home in about half an hour.

I had screenshots of the conversations and I was emotional.
I asked could she say something to him, does he realise that Drake is not the Drake she was dating earlier in the year and the father of her eldest child?
She wanted to tell me and show me her new puppy.
I told her I was getting afraid when I received a message on Facebook that it would be him and I would have to deal with more abuse and crap.
oh look puppy.
This continued for about half an hour of me on the verge of tears and trying to tell her what I felt and I was sick of the crap from her boyfriend, and her just not getting it or else her telling me maybe to stop the abuse Drake should comment on her stuff on my account… um what would that solve? and we have separate accounts and have friends who overlap and we discuss personal or sometimes confidential stuff with our friends and this isn’t going to stop Evan.
Drake watching me as I look at the computer at my best friend and around her house on Skype comes over and stands behind me, wraps an arm around my shoulders and then in his angry voice tells her that this is ridiculous I am supposed to be her friend, she needs to talk to her partner or set some boundaries on him, or something.
Drake is one of the calmest people I know, he doesn’t yell and our nearly 3 years of dating that’s the first time I have heard him raise his voice and sound pissed off.

That was a Thursday night, Friday night I see her status that she can’t wait to see her sexy loving boyfriend over the weekend.

Saturday comes when he is with her I am still getting messages and abuse.

My blood boils, I realise I mean what feels like nothing to her, I set her profile to restricted and turn off her from showing in my news feed.
I wait for something from her, anything, a ‘hey whats happening’ or a ‘how was your weekend’ nothing.

So I quietly left her in restricted and posted this to Facebook before unfriending her and cutting ties with her:

________________________________________________

Alyce: I feel like last week I learnt my value to some people and sadly I am less valued than I thought I was.

However lesson has been learnt, and maybe in the future you will realised the friendship you have lost.

I know had the shoe been on the other foot I would of valued you and your friendship more.

Comments:

Bell:  love u!! Xxooxx

Alyce: thanks Bell *hugs*

Bell *hugs*

Carlton: yes …

Cher: Their loss they have lost a wonderful person u have many others that value your friendship

Alyce: Thank you Cher *hugs*

Marta: I am here xx

Alyce: Thank you Marta ♡

Ryn: i`m sorry i didn`t catch up with you and i do value your friendship.

Alyce: This wasn’t about you Ryn you are loved and valued.

*hugs*

Alyce: This is about someone who I trusted and valued as a friend a really close friend, who I would of took a bullet for, who this last fortnight I realize what I mean to them.

She can’t see this post as she is in the restricted purgatory of Facebook and I doubt she has noticed.
Her abusive partner has been blocked and in a few weeks she will be unfriended and blocked herself.

Sister-in-law: It’s a painful thing realising you are more invested in a relationship than the other person  I’ve found moving and having kids the biggest revelations as to who cares and who just takes, better to know than be taken advantage of xo

Alyce: It’s painful and has been a blow.

Alice: We’ll always be partners in crime

Alyce: We sure will be Alice

Louise: You’re not talking about who I think you are?

Alyce: I maybe Louise.

I’m not naming them.
But I’m over the abuse of her partner to both Drake and I and her just fobbing it off.

Louise: Ok just assuming I know then (it seems pretty obvious) That’s a damn shame after you reconciling from the last time  I thought there seemed something dodgy about that guy even just from seeing his photo and a few comments he made

Patricia: It’s a shame it has come to that.

Alyce: I know some people may screen shot and send this to her.

But at the same time, if your friend is calling in tears and whilst your boyfriend is there for a dirty weekend and still sending your friend abuse then something has to give.

I’m not forcing her to chose as her actions she’s chosen him already.
Maybe one day years from now she will realise who she lost because of him.

Patricia: If anyone sends this to her then they are not worth your friendship.

Louise: You’ve always seemed to have your head screwed on right Alyce. I think sometimes people can just be blinded by puppy love and not see the truth, loose their way and forget about friends, sad really. Especially once it becomes an abusuve relationship, they have a way of cutting you off from friends without you even realising it. But I hope she knows this guy well enough to be having him around the kids

Alyce: I’ve posted that 8 warning signs of an abusive relationship and could already get him on 6.

I told her each one but yes she is blinded by puppy love.

The kids like him but are seeing him at his best.

I wouldn’t trust him personally.

Bell: So sad that i see so many people letting their boyfriend take 24/7 priority and their friends who have always been there lpse out  hopefully if she is in an abusinve relationship she figures it out before something really bad happens. I wasnt so lucky and had to do alot of healing, physically and psychologically, but at least i never let him cut me off from my good friends.

______________________________________________
Louise, Patricia, Nicola and I all went to primary and secondary school together.
It was a day later I unfriended Nicola on Facebook and removed her from Skype as well as deleted and blocked her phone number.
I haven’t heard anything from her and that was early December, it’s now late January.
Whilst shopping over the Christmas period and out with friends I would see something and go oh take a photo and send to Nicola, or I should buy that for Nicola she would like it, and then remember that I have cut her out of my life.

It was a tough decision to make and to actually do, but I was over the abuse and it not getting no where.

Maybe I did the wrong thing and should of stuck by her, maybe I did the right thing and got out of a friendship that had turned toxic.
I did what was best for Drake and me.
It was causing fights between us, and me to stress to much.
I was scared to receive messages.

22 years of friendship for a boyfriend of 2 months.
better luck next time.
I guess I need to find a new best friend.

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Threats from Evan

My best friend Nicola has got a new boyfriend, they met on facebook. I’m not one to judge that I met Drake on facebook as well.
Nicola and I have been best friends since prep, our first day of school.

Both our families had recently moved to Barkly and neither of us had attended the local kindergarten that funneled the children to that particular primary school (if you attend kinder A you will 90% go to Primary School A, you attend kinder B you will most likely attend school B)

We’ve been through her high shcool boyfriends who were dicks, my highschool boyfriend who she rescued me at 2am from his room before we’d got to the having sex part.

So she broke up with her boyfriend and eldest childs Dad mid way through this year.
She was taking a break from men but wanted sex.

She met a few guys on a dating app and on a facebook singles/swingers group.

Nicola then starts to hook up with a bloke and he seemed a bit odd but his 6 years younger than us and well us girls in our early twenties were odd and quirky.

Then Evan the new boyfriend started to comment and attack any guy who would comment on any of Nicola’s facebook statuses.  Some of these guys commenting were creepers and creeps she had added from the dating site and group, But as they were only fuck buddies and these were the creepers wanting to know what she was wearing and that typa thing I could see where he was coming from.

Then Evan asked her out and they have lots of cutesey coupley photos, in the first month of their dating Nicola found just over a two hundred snapchat photos of naked woman in just that month they had been dating.
For me that was a bit odd, she skyped and had a cry to Drake and I on Skype.
He then introduced her to his Mum as just a friend.

Again I thought that was odd but his from a different culture and I thought odd but if you have an overprotective parent I can understand that.

Most nights or at least twice a week Nicola and I would skype and Drake would be a part of the skpying cause I wouldn’t have a headset on.

Drake and Nicola are also facebook friends and he comments on her statues every so often.
God I think Drake sometimes talks to my friends more than I do sometimes.

So last week on monday after flying back home and getting a bus to Geringhap we were out shopping with my Aunt (me at the lingerie shop, and at Target – how I have missed those stores) and then went to Safeway and Drake said that Evan had messaged him and called him a cunt.
Just out of the blue, got a message, first ever message from Evan as well.
Drake then showed me the messages, Evan had threatened to bash him because he was in Geringhap  and he would get his cousins and they would kick Drakes head in. Drakes turned around and said hey why don’t we get a drink and have a talk.
Then messaged Nicola and said hey I just got these messages from Evan.

My aunt and I are just what the fucking and Aunt said ‘I hope Nicola’s saying something to him cause I see you girls posting how your like sisters and your besties all the time’
I sent a message and asked whats up with Evan. She replied she wasn’t sure and he wasn’t really answering her.

I had to go to court and was spending time with family and only had the monday – friday to see everyone and didn’t get to seeing Nicola due to time restraints, however I did call and message her.

Monday I was at work waiting at the bank as it was my day to do the banking and was flicking through facebook and seen Nicola had posted about hating mornings, went to comment seen Drake had already and then added my two cents worth in as well.

About lunchtime there was a comment on the status from Evan asking ‘why is that prick commenting on you statues still?’
So I asked if Evan if it was about Drake commenting on Nicola’s facebook… providing that only Drake and I had commented it was pretty obvious.
I just told Evan that Drake will be Nicola’s brother in law and that his comment was uncalled for.
he then posts ‘ha hahahahaha no worries!’
I was pissed and replied that it wasn’t funny and that he owed Nicola and Drake and apology for assuming that something was going on and for his abuse.
he then asked what an apology was.
Me steaming posted you called Drake a cunt, threaten to assault him, which is abuse. You also assume something is going on between Drake and Nicola. oh and would you like me to post a definition of what an apology is.

At this time Drake comments a half hour later and is writing the calming stuff of Nicola is stressed atm lets take it easy.

I was on the last hour of my 10 hour shift when I get a message from Evan asking why I had complained to Nicola about him.

So here is the transcript:

Evan: Why did you complAining about me to nicola???

Alyce: Because you are abusing my boyfriend and your jealousy is an issue.

Evan: Your boyfriend can talk for himself!! Nothing to do with you

Ha hahahah

Am I jelly of what??

Alyce: Ever guy that comments on her page.
He is my partner I love and care about and for him.
You are abusing him.
I take umbrige with that.
Your opening message to him calling him a cunt was uncalled for.
Personally you may make Nicola happy. I think you are a dickhead and she could do better.
I won’t be blocking you, however I request you not contact me in future.
Regards Alyce

I haven’t heard from Nicola since early Monday.
I also may of overstepped my boundaries in saying what I said. However I feel it needed to be said.
If I had of been a guy Evan would of threatened to beat me and up with his cousins.

I have faced bigger bullies than him and came out on top and if he wants to get in to a pissing contest of who’s cousins are worse, mine have been to jail and poured boiling hot water down a guys throat in a fight. So yeah bring it, but unlike you I won’t hide behind my cousins or family, I will front up and I will stand my ground and what and who I believe in.

I may lose my best friend, However my greatest fears were to lose my Mum, my Dad and my Sister, I’ve lost them. My Aunt and Drake who I am afraid to lose have my back.
and I can replace a friend as callous as that sounds.

I’ve faced the guy who assaulted me last year in court and had his lawyer victim blame me and make me doubt myself and feel like I was two feet tall.

Evan buddy you got nothing and you don’t scare me.